The Itch

Last week, right before meeting up with a friend for dinner at my favorite Thai restaurant, I felt the first symptom of the 'I miss Africa' blues. It was very slow and subtle, but really not that surprising. I was sitting in a little square, writing in my journal and realizing how loud it was around me. I had mentioned to a friend a few weeks ago how the noise level in the land of the free was a bit shocking for me, but that feeling becomes 10 times stronger every time I'm in Manhattan. Later that evening, we were walking across town and landed in the very middle of Times Square where, despite it being past 11:30pm, it was still crowded and all the lights from the ads felt like they were on extra full blare. I got this 'jee I miss how quiet Africa is.' Even Nairobi feels more quiet. Of course I say this coming from Sudan which quiet hit the big times yet so I'm definitely bias. Plus, I admit that not so deep down I'm definitely a 'country girl' who prefers birds chirping to cab horns and whose ideal home is more isolated-cottage-in-the-woods than chic-300-square-feet-city-dwelling.

Over the past week, the feeling has gotten stronger and transformed back into 'I want to live abroad' again. BUT....all caution is NOT being thrown to the wind this time (I've done that twice now and it's feeling a bit played out). I know I want to move back abroad at least part-time, but I'm feeling a bit more patient this time around, choosing to focus more on figuring out what I want to do with myself first and then figuring out how to apply it to living abroad.

That said, I'm loving being back in the States! It's actually weird to hear myself saying that considering how much time during my short life I've spent daydreaming about being somewhere other than where I am. Now all I have to do is hold on to this 'living in the present' feeling. Should be a piece of cake, right?!?!

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