Was I Really There?

Some days I find it difficult to remember or believe that I lived in Sudan for 2 years. It is only when someone asks me about where I was before I started me recent job or what I did after graduate school do I find myself reliving the fact that I did indeed spend a lot of time in a country I knew nothing about before I got there. While I can say that I know more about the people and the country now than I did back in 2004, Sudan is still a complex mystery to me. Even though I don't foresee myself going back there to live again, both of my experiences there (Nimule 2004-2005; Kapoeta/Juba 2007-2008), definitely changed me.

Amazing photos by Kristopher Carlson who has captured Toposa people quite beautifully.

Fuzzy, swollen, haze...

I had a very rough night. There is something in my room (probably dust) that literally has it out against me. Between sneezing through the night, rubbing my nose until it's now bruised, and rubbing my eyes which are now swollen, I barely got any sleep. The day ahead - my last full one in Sudan - already seems endless!

Since my head is extremely fuzzy and I have a WHOLE lot to do today...I'll just bid you all a great weekend. I'll reserve deep thoughts about my departure, fears and excitement of the unknown future and other such thoughts for over the weekend when I'm breathing clean, cold, crisp, Nairobi air!

Road Trip - Kapoeta to Juba

Wow! Wow! Wow! Yesterday was a quite a day!

It all started around 7:00 o’clock in the morning when I woke up in a strange bed and found myself hitching a ride back to my compound. No….this wasn’t some drunken night where I’m randomly sleeping with a stranger. For better or worse, that’s just not my life!

The night before, I went to visit my friend Mio for our last beer, random food – in this case dried squid and Danish bread filled with all kinds of whole grain goodness. The car,which had gone to rescue another stuck vehicle, was suppose to pick me up or alternatively, someone on the motorcycle never came to pick me up and I ended up sleeping in the guest bedroom of another organization. This scenario, where I’m randomly stranded and left to the wills of more fortune organizations which end up providing me better feeding and lodging, happened when I first arrived last year so it is actually only fitting that I should end my stay here in this manner! When I get back to the compound in the morning....I'm greeted by several dog-ate-my-homework type excuses, which really don't matter!

Anyway…I eventually find my way back to my compound, pull my act together and jump on the road to Juba. I’ve started my day in a cranky manner and being 100% Brandie, I’m quite comfortable sitting along the 6-hour road trip with my iPod going and a million thoughts running through my head. Fortunately, the driver has other thoughts….thoughts that include blaring the likes of Backstreet Boys AND singing along, and talking through at least 80% of the trip. I get to hear his story of being his father’s 21st child; growing up in a house with 15 stepmothers and 31 brothers and sisters; watching the effects of jealousy induced witchcraft on his father; trying to convince his Muslim mother to bless him in marrying the Christian mother of his 2 year-old child; AND listening to him finally profess his ‘love’ for me. A ‘love’ whose unleashing was restrained by the fear that I would have him fired and being that he has to support the mother of his child - as known as the woman he also wants to marry – he had to keep his feelings inside! Now please tell me how do you respond to that!?!?

Anyway...moving on from that conversation, I end up telling him about my driving-manual experience. It’s quite simple. I learned to drive the wimpy way – automatic. I came to Sudan the first time and practiced with the first driver, but not enough practice meant that I was still a wimp this time around. With plenty of drivers running around, the need to learn for myself just didn’t seem so pressing. Finally, in a complete it’s-SHAMEFUL-and-EMBARASSING- to-be-in-AFRICA- and-NOT-know-how-to-drive-manual moment, I tossed my fears aside and learned what was needed. So I share this MAJOR Brandie moment with the driver and he doesn’t believe me! Not being one to let such a thing pass lightly, I tell him to stop the car and get behind the wheel. Before he can scream like a baby, I’m in 5 gear dodging potholes just like he does when he’s driving (ok my skills are not that good, but I’m getting there….). In a complete, a-woman-can-drive state of shock, he eventually reclaims the wheel and makes NO silly commentary about me driving! I haven't piled up all those speed tickets for nothing!!!

Anyway...the whole trip ended up being a lot more fun and interesting than any podcast I could have zoned out to!

After the rain has fallen

While the arrival of rains is a great thing for some (i.e. the farmer man who just wants his crops to grow), it's not so fun for others....

This USE to be a nice river drift leading to a community that is usually isolated during the rainy season because no cars could get there. This drift, which was finished only a few months ago, is completely useless ONE heavy rain later. The community is right back in isolation!

The driver of this truck is also not so happy with the rains. The river, which are just miles and miles of sand when it isn't raining, floods at the first sign of rain. Many truck drivers think 'oh, this ain't so bad, I can make it'...only to end up like this guy! And if he doesn't get it out today, tomorrow, most of the essential parts of the vehicle as well as his contents will most likely be gone....

Rain Day

Do you remember those days when you were a kid and got all excited when you heard it was going to snow and you stayed up at night checking the window every 5 minutes with the hope that it had accumulated enough to cancel school the following day? Ok, that wasn't my childhood either! While I was in Liberia, snow just didn't exist. When I moved to the U.S., I went to boarding school and only the worst of the worst snow storms could prevent enough day-students from coming to school and even then we still had to attend study hall* at night!

I thought I would finally get a break when I moved to that snowy state of Massachusetts for college, but to my sad dismay, it turned out that New Englanders are pretty attached to their snow plows and seem to have centuries worth of experience in crushing the hopes of little college kids by plowing away the snow before it could even land!

Now rainy season in Sudan, with weeks of rained-out activities, would probably seem like the ultimate 'snow day' for the northern hemisphere kid, but let me tell you, it soooo is NOT!

I'm in Kapoeta and I was technically suppose to head to Juba tomorrow, spend a few days tying up any loose ends and then head out to Nairobi over the weekend. But really, Sudan specializes in 'deferred plans' and this case is no different! This morning, I woke up to the darkest clouds so close above me, I swear I could reach up and just shake the rain out! I tried to rush the group out the door with the unrealistic hope that we would actually make the 4 hour road trip, do some work in the field and be nice and cozy in our tukuls before the skies open up. WRONG! I had a good 30 minutes before torrential rains began and have lasted all day. Now, my plan to happily jump on a plane back to Juba are replaced with that day trip to the field and a long trip the following day by road to Juba.

But, in an endless effort to go against my nature and see the glass as half-full, I've found several silver linings to this scenario:

1) I'll be able to see my friend Mio before we both leave Sudan. With most people I know here, even the time to share a glass of wine is precious because we move around so much (not to mention the fact that wine has to be imported from either Juba or Loki). So Mio just got back from her break yesterday and should the rain gods corporate, tomorrow will be the first time we've seen each other in about 5 weeks!

2) More time with Somehow who was so cute today as he tried (and succeeded) in climbing unto my lap and curling up!

3) A road trip to Juba also means that I get to make an important stop in Torit to pay a vendor which I'm sure will make his day.

Anyway...fingers (and toes) crossed for blue skies for tomorrow!


* required 2 hours of studying or more likely, plotting your escape to the woods at night for mere smokes, shits and giggles! - (P.S. It wasn't me mom, it was THEM!)

Obama's Mistake, Figure 8s, and Insecurity Guards!

Yesterday, I made the long journey to Ikotos. This is the capital city (ok...it's really just a large village), of Ikotos county. Even though I had been to Isoke several times, I had never made it to Ikotos so I jumped at the opportunity to come here yesterday and the random conversations I've had have made the trip worth the bumps and lake-size potholes!

• One of the things I have noticed in the short time I've been in Sudan and even in Kenya, is that people here LOVE politics. Literally, a cab driver in Nairobi can tell you every detail about the political scene on a drive between the airport and your hotel. This is stuff that some can't even teach in a classroom because it is just so darn complicated! In addition, to loving their own politics, nothing seems to be as interesting for people here as the American presidential elections and of course the majority are rooting for Obama! But as a Ugandan told me yesterday, Obama has made a CRITICAL mistake which means that even though he has WON the nomination (imagine me doing a little celebratory dance!!!), he will never win the final prize - becoming president. What has Obama done in the eyes of this Ugandan??? Obama's mistake is that he is.....BLACK!!! Well, I almost fell on the floor laughing. He just made it seem as if Obama had actually CHOSEN to be a black man! Of course he also pointed out that Hillary's mistake was that she is a woman!
• After educating me about Democratics mistakes, the same gentleman started telling me about his family back in Ugandan. His wife has just had their third child and I asked if he wants more. He says that he only wants more if she can 'maintain herself' after 'production.' Just the terminology used was just unreal to me. The use of the word "production" just had images of a factory of birthing women running through my mind. Of course I had to asked what he meant by 'maintaining herself.' At first he seemed a little shy in saying what he meant but eventually he clarified by saying that she has to maintain a 'figure 8' (for those that don't know - this is big boobs, small waistline, and a big butt), so if having a fourth child meant that she would lose her figure 8 shape, then it just wasn't worth it! I swear I love listening to African men talk about women!!
• The last highlight that I want to point out, happened about an hour ago. As we are all standing on the porch waiting for the power to come on at the compound I've stayed at, several men passed by us carrying a heavy generator. When they reach the gate, the guards open the gate without asking a single question and just allow them to walk out the gate with the generator. While the staff here seems that have had some idea about who had taken out the generator, one immediately shouted out that the people at the gate were insecurity guards rather than security guards, because only insecurity guards would let someone take expensive equipment without even asking a single question! Another Ugandan called the two guards and immediately started doing the very typical finger wagging followed by the 'YOU GO!' statement that never seems to fail in making an already low staff member feel just a bit lower!

Anyway, I'll let you know about what other adventures this day brings!

Back 'Home'

On Friday I was dreaming about being in Lamu, but by Saturday afternoon, I was extremely happy to be back in Kapoeta. As some of you may remember, this is the town that I spent the first 9 months of my time here in Sudan so it is very special. After only a 5 hour journey by road (it use to be a brutal 7 but a company has improved several sections of the road), I stepped out of the car and was greeted by a very shy Somehow. Once he realized that it was really me, he became crazy excited and was jumping all over me.

I rounded the corner to the conference hall area and the entire camp were lounging watching a dvd movie collection (think Rambo I, II, III and any other testosterone filled movie) and drinking cold beers. They all ran out to give me hugs and greetings. It was truly a 'coming home' moment. That night, more cold beers were passed around, meat (and chicken for me) was thrown on the grill, the dogs - Somehow and his sidekick Skiddish also known as 'Nameless' - were running around collection leftovers and even the T.O.C (the cat) made a guest appearance.

Look at this handsome happy face!!!

I had really missed Somehow, but I am amazed at what a happy trooper he is! This dog is living the good life here! The compound here is huge so he literally goes where he pleases. There are guys all around so finding someone to rough play with is hardly a problem. He is well fed by the cook who makes sure that he has a full plate of food in the morning plus everyone gives him food during lunch and dinner. When it rains, he hangs out in the kitchen with the cat where it is always warm and he needs only to scratch on the door of one of the guys here and he has a safe place to sleep at night. However, most nights he roams the streets of Kapoeta going from compound to compound to visit friends and probably impregnate a few ladies! Now that I'm here, his up to his tricks that he knows only works on foreigners, mainly ripping the bottom part of my pants which he considers playing and climbing unto my lap because he still thinks he's a pup.

Finally, to ensure that I really feel back in Kapoeta, the skies have opened up and it is currently POURING!! Being that this is rainy season, this isn't too surprising. What I have forgotten though is just how cold it becomes and now that I don't live here full time, all my bare rain necessities such as rain boots, sweater, socks, are all back in Juba while I'm shivering here in Kapoeta! Anyway...I'm just excited that I get to spend the majority of my last few days in Sudan here in Kapoeta!

Death So Close

First thing this morning, I found out that a colleague passed away! He was our 'do-it-all' man in Nairobi. He had been sick for a while and had been in and out of the office over the last few months, but to think that he is just gone.....

That's one of the things I find sorta scary about the parts of Africa I've lived in, it always feels like someone know by only 1 or 2 degrees of separate could go at any time, or be injured or harmed in some way. Whether through random crime, airplane crash, or disease (i.e. the big bad HIV/AIDS)...someone you know could go before you can even think twice. I know it is the same anywhere, but it somehow feels more pronounced here....

The whole thing reminds me about how fleeting life can be, and just why it is so important to live your best life during every day that you have, because tomorrow certainly isn't promised!

I can only hope that this guy enjoyed his life.

Anyway..I promise happy posts tomorrow!

Sliding Back to War?

Photo: Washington Times...click link in post for full credit.

A few weeks ago when I was at the security training, the trainer, mentioned that there was renewed fighting in the town called Abyei. To the rest of the world, this little blip on the map really means nothing, but in Sudan, to means close to everything as it is on the heavily disputed border between the north and the south and also happens to have oil-fields that pump out thousands of barrels of that violence-producing resource. Ya, I wonder why that border is so disputed?!?!

The fighting has gotten bad enough to actually make it into the Washington Post AND New York Times. Schools, NGO compounds, and any other building that were standing last month are now burned to the ground. There are some who think that if fighting is renewed, it will be focused in the states that are along the border which are the disputed area. What makes the whole situation sad, frustrating, etc is that so much progress has been made since the signing of the peace agreement, that a slide back into war would just mean such a loss. Renewed fighting will mean that any 'development' that has happened in that area since the signing of the peace agreement will be lost. Millions of dollars/euros/pounds that have been invested will be demolished.

I find it interesting how just like any Sudanese, even as an expat, you can't help be feel a bit anxious to know the outcome! Anyway, while one friend says 'hope, schmope,' I am still naively of the 'hopeful' clan and I'm keeping my fingers crossed that leaders in both the north and south can come to an agreement to avoid newed fighting.

Under the weather

So my little sneezing party from Friday turned into a full-blown cold over the weekend...I mean shivering in my bed in the HEAT that is Juba - kind of cold. The cold eventually turned into some stomach bug that has had me in its grip since Saturday and there seems no end in sight! :(

Needless to say, being sick in Sudan adds a whole new level of SUCKINESS to the whole 'being sick' experience.

Anyway, fingers crossed, I'll be right as rain tomorrow and can write more.

Sudanese English

After staying in a place with a different culture for a while, you eventually pick up some of the language and mannerisms of the people around you. When you move somewhere like France or Spain, picking up the language is generally considered a good thing. These languages enhance your ability to speak to more people, etc. etc.

This is NOT the case in Sudan and definitely not for someone like me. By the time I arrived in the U.S. I was 10 and had grown up speaking ‘Liberian English’ which to the unaccustomed ear, is pretty difficult to understand. I’ll never forget being teased when I was in school in the states (specifically Springfield, Massachusetts) because the other girls couldn’t understand what I was saying when I spoke regularly. Over the years, I would like to think that my English has gotten better although I'm sure 99% of my friends would question that.

So when I’m in an environment like Sudan where a basic greeting goes like this:

Person 1: Hello
Person 2 response: Fine Fine

you can only imagine what being around this type of English does to a girl. A few days ago, as I was greeting someone on the street, the conversation went something like this

Brandie: Hello!
Person 1: How are you?
Brandie: Thanks!

I literally dropped on the ground laughing at myself! I’m going to need more than a few weeks in the U.S. to regain all the English that I’ve lost (or simply never had :)).

Can you imagine what I sound like in Spanish?!?!

On the other hand, one of my favorite Sudanese things that I have picked up is the shoulder tap, tap/half-hug business that they do. It's like a hug, but still keeping some personal space but still very friendly. Oh, and there is also the flicked wrist into a upward palm position, which is used to basically hitch a ride or ask for something. AND there are some great linguistic things such as the overuse of the word 'somehow' (which is why I named my dog that), or the expression 'those of ____.' For example, 'where are those of Erica?' (Which is why my cat is called T.O.C. - Those of cat.'

Rest of Morobo Trip

Day 2

By 11am on Saturday morning, I had already traveled 2 hours from Yei to Morobo and laughed with the consultant about all the confusion that had led to me being stranded in Yei. Not long after I arrive, we visited a fishpond, which at that stage of construction just looked like a huge mud pit. But I was assured that large catfish would soon be making a home there. We then hit the road again to see two other groups and I got to hear a bunch of interesting stories about the area. For example, we passed a random check-point and learn that it was there because the road is a major smuggling route of motorcycles coming from the Democratic Republic of Congo (DRC) heading to Sudan and someone has been genius enough to try to get a cut out of the business. Another story that I heard was that when Idi Amin was ousted, his soldiers and their families fled into this part of Sudan for refuge. While they were here, they were being trained as guerilla group by the northerners (just in case you don’t know, the Muslim north and Christian south were fighting four about 20 years before they finally signed a peace agreement in 2005) to help fight the southerners. The SPLA eventually kicked them out but I always find it interesting when one group actually moves into a war zone rather than trying to stay the heck out…..but then again, these guys were soldiers.

The beekeeping project I saw is really interest because the bee consultant just couldn’t stop talking about the darn bees. More than that, this is a guy who loves his job (I always love meeting people who are passionate about their jobs) and I later on get to see him get super happy about suiting up to go get honey from the hives and acting like Winnie the Pooh with all the honey that he collected. I also got to taste some of the best honey I’ve ever had….too bad I can’t share with you all!

Congolese flags are posted along the road almost like a reminder that you are in a different country even though it looks JUST like Sudan.

After checking out the carpentry and beekeepers, we proceed to another town to check out the goat keepers and another fishpond group. The new road we are using is basically the border between Sudan and DRC so as we approach the town, we see the Congolese flag waving, and immigration check point only one of the roads that lead further into the Congo. After seeing the groups, we go to town and I ‘cross the border’ into the Congo to look at some fabric in one shop and the cross back into Sudan to buy some water. Can we say porous borders?!?

Member of the beekeeping group and her child. I couldn’t get over the child and his death grip on the mother’s breast and the mom couldn’t stop laughing at my shock.

When we get back to the compound where we are staying, we are chatting away, and I’m reading when two white ladies arrived. I had met the younger lady in Lainya the week before last. A few words later, turns out that older lady is the force behind Lulu Life (click here to see post about shea butter and Lulu Life) and the girl happens to be her daughter. I’m really really excited, because for an hour or so I basically got to sit there and ask all my questions away and she was so interesting! When it was over, all I wanted to do was ask her where to sign up to help out!

Day 3
On the third day, we traveled to a town called Kaya to see another goat keeping group and carpenters. This town was really interesting because it was border town between Sudan, Uganda and Congo. I could actually see all three countries at once….it actually looks all the same and when you get onto the small roads, people are basically crossing borders all day long without even thinking about it! It is actually amazing when one thinks about the land borders between the U.S. and Mexico and Canadian.

Kaya was really amazing because you can see the influence of Congo and Uganda on the people here. For example, so many goods, especially fabrics, come from the Congo so women here are just wrapped in beautiful fabrics. After a while, my eye was actually craving a white room just to take a two-minute break from all the colors around me.

This trip has been so great for so many reasons. I’m basically just counting the days until I can go back to the U.S. for a break as I have a major need of seeing family and friends, etc. But trips like this are a perfect reminder for me of why I love being here. It is when I go to see projects and actually go into the bushes that I really appreciate where I am and the fact that besides dealing with all the paperwork and smooth talking needed to get a project done, I still get paid to travel to places I would never otherwise visit, and hearing stories and experiences that feel worlds away from my own life experiences. It is great to see projects that are making a difference and talking to people who are so motivated to improve their lives and just need a little help! I love getting to meet really interesting people, from the female group member who was basically the ‘get things done’ kind of woman who could basically whip anyone into shape to Kristina of Lulu life who has basically living in Sudan for years (and I’m talking about even when bullets were still flying around), and has spent so many years trying to make something small take off that supports Sudanese women. It is all very inspiring!

Get-it-done Mama of the goat keeping group

Stuck in Yei (again)

Small note: I'm in an internet cafe so pictures aren't loading up at all so I'll post about the other 2 days of my Morobo trip tomorrow.

I came back to Yei yesterday afternoon and basically found out that I am stuck here until Wednesday. I’m staying at the New Tokyo hotel (only the good Lord knows how people come up with these names) where I stayed on Friday. Here are some of the highlights of my stay in Yei so far:

* My hotel is having an identity crisis where it can’t decided whether it is a hotel or night club. Music literally is on full blast from 7:30am to 12:30am. AND as if that isn’t bad, the receptionist put me in a room directly in front of the courtyard where the music is blasting AND I have a neighbor who actually thinks it’s appropriate to blast STATIC radio at 6am. So needless to say, my nerves are SHOT today!

* While working on my computer last night, I tried to drown out the African club beats with Vivaldi at the risk of my poor eardrum, which was on serious sensory overload, but I thought better of it. This random Sudanese boy comes and sits next to me and proceeds to lean over my shoulder mesmerized by the glow of the screen and me typing away. While I understand that any MacBook is mesmerizing, the fact that this person is about to fall out of his chair to watch me work is a bit disturbing. The fact that I have my headphones on and I’m typing away doesn’t stop him from actually trying to have a conversation. And while I’m usually a outgoing person [ok, burst on the floor laughing because I’m really shy around people I don’t know], the blasting music and my exhaustion mean I’m just down right cranky which is generally a state no one should have to meet me under.

* Mango bombs – the courtyard of the hotel is full of mango trees dangling above iron roof tops of the patio. Every few minutes, a mango will fall on the roof and the sound is nothing less than that of a bomb hitting a target. Everyone gets completely jumpy each time and while it is actually funny, I’m so tired because the few hours of sleep I did get when music wasn't blaring was interrupted by mangoes jumping on the roof.

* I’ve walked around the market area of Yei, which is very interesting mostly because of all the interesting fabrics and designs I see women wearing. However, while I’ve seen some material from Ivory Coast and Congo, nothing has struck me enough to burst out the wallet. I already bought a lovely piece in the market in Kaya, so my fabric obsession has been slightly quenched for the time being.

* My stomach is a little upset which is NEVER a situation you want to be in when your hotel has shared bathrooms! Luckily, I have moved into a self-contained bedroom.

Anyway….I’m really praying for a morning flight to Juba tomorrow!

Morobo Trip - Day 1

Background: The project I am working on has two components, one I am implementing directly and the other we have outsourced to another NGO to implement because they have a bigger presence in the area. For the second component, I just supervise to make sure they are doing everything that they say they are doing. My trip to Morobo was to monitor their activities.

My trip to Morobo, began on Friday afternoon and in typical Sudanese fashion, was anything but smooth. My flight to Yei was fine until I arrived in Yambio. I turned on my satellite phone hoping to call the individual who would pick me up to confirm that my arrival time was going to be a little delayed. I had emailed him the night before and but when I arrived in Yambio and turned on my phone, I received several messages from him asking about the arrival time and whether or not I was still coming. Clearly alarm bells starting ringing as I was about 45 minutes from landing in Yei. I tried every phone number I had for him and none of the calls would go through. So I boarded the flight for the final leg of the trip with nothing but hope and a pray that he would be on the other side.

When I arrived in Yei, my general luck with hoping and praying were right on target because he was not at the airstrip. I tried calling again and still couldn’t get through. But there was a vehicle and a Latin American guy looking friendly enough who quickly noticed that I was stranded and offered me a lift into town. I called a colleague who is from Yei and who was also in town and told him I was here and basically stranded. The Guatemalan dropped me off at the only place in Yei I had ever heard of and not even by name – it had been simply referred to as the Ethiopian place that makes cappuccino. So I went there, got served a very nice cup of cappuccino while I called everyone and their mother. A colleague in Juba went to the office of the organization that was suppose to pick me up and got me their number of their boss (because the other 20 numbers I had clearly weren’t working). In the main time, the colleague who was in town grabbed a driver from the organization that is next to ours in Kapoeta and who also happened to be in Yei and they came and picked me up and dropped me off at a relatively good hotel in town.

As it happened, Friday was SPLA (Sudan People's Liberation Army) Day (the day they started fighting against the main government in Khartoum. Like other city in Sudan, Yei was full to the brim of people out and about in full celebratory mood – read as very drunk. My colleague and the driver took me to a bar called Green Mango where a Uganda artist – Major D – had been hired to perform. There was music playing, people arriving and settling in for the show. I had a simple dinner and was just checked out the scenery, enjoyed the cool breeze and the fact that all-in-all I was having a pretty darn good day. I was out of Juba so my mood was already lifted; while there had been miscommunication regarding my connection with the grantee, I was still safely tucked away in a hotel, with a nice cappuccino in my belly and about to listen to live music in a beautiful part of Sudan that I had never been to! AND to put an icing on the cake, I was finally able to get in touch with the grantee and arrange for a car to pick me up the following morning. While the actual concert was nothing to blog about, it was still fun to watch various Sudanese fight with each other over people stealing chairs, yelling at those trying to dance in front who were blocking those sitting in the back, and the singer trying to perform using a microphone that wouldn’t work while the girl dancers tried to appease a crowding of drunk young guys!

More about my trip later.....

Tequila Night

I participated in a what seems to be a very normal thing for expats in this neck of the woods.....a lot of drinking. I generally like wine, and your fruity drinks, but I really like whiskey just straight up. Since none of those were available last night, I settled with tequila (also straight up) with a little squeeze of lime. OH HAPPY DAY!!!!! And it was perfect because I was already in the guesthouse I'm staying at (drinking with my colleagues) and once I finished the bottle (it wasn't full when I started ;) ), I could take stumble only 10 steps and land in bed. Since getting drunk isn't something I do on a regular basis, every now and then it is fun.

Drinking a lot is very common here and I can only assume it is another cooping mechanism used to deal with the stress that comes with the work and living conditions.

Anyway...since I'm still a little hungover, I'm going to sign out for now. I'm heading to a place called Morobo until next Tuesday so I'll write more when I get back.

Have a great weekend!

Sitting Ducks

Yesterday, instead of being stuck in the office doing paperwork, I got to attend a safety training at the United Nations Department of Safety and Security (UNDSS). As I’ve written about the robberies going on in Juba before, and recently car-jackings have been added to the list. So the security training was about how to pull-your act together when there are scary men yelling and pointing a gun at you and taking for your last $100 bucks or even worse….your MacBook!

The training started when this American guy opened his mouth and everything flowing out just confirmed what I already suspected: police/military dude not to be messed with, laughed at or anything else because he could probably kill you just by blinking his eye! After a few introductions, another guy started telling us about all kinds of safety stuff. There is Minimum Operating Security Standards (MOSS) and Minimum Operating Residential Security Standards (MORSS) and being a ‘hard’ target (very difficult to attack) versus being a ‘soft’ target (your sitting duck organizations). While listing some of the minimum standards and examples, one could hear the laughter floating through the room as we all thought about various breaches in our own situations. Juba has changed because of these robberies and a lot of organizations are now trying to meet the new security standards that the situation now calls for. Anyway, below are some of the highlights from this particular session:

==> Gates with walls that should be at least 2.5m high with barbed wire on top, a solid iron door, no gaps underneath
• One robbery succeeded because the gang actually pushed a little boy underneath the gate, and because the guards had actually forgotten to seal the lock, the kid successfully opened the gate and let the gangsters in.
• In another robbery, everything was set except the was no barbed-wire on top of the pole between the wall and the gate so one member of the gang, climbed on top of the pole, turned around to get a gun and clearly got in.
• Iron doors on the main doors and even bedroom doors are also good. One gang was able to break in through the gate but couldn’t access the main house or some of the rooms because they had iron doors that couldn’t be kicked down.

==> Organizations should think about the environment their compounds are located in. Close proximity to dangerous areas mean that robbery gangs don’t have to go too far from home to attack you cause you are technically in their neighborhood.
• The vast majority of the robberies that have taken place have been in two neighborhoods close to the main market which are basically NGO alley because so many little organizations are based within one of those two neighborhoods. Even if their main office isn’t there, there at least one guest-house, if not more.
• Clearly back in the day when NGOs were moving into Juba, things were not like this and therefore no one really thought that the neighborhoods they were seletting were dangerous at the time, because technically their weren’t.
• Need I even mention that I’m sitting in one of those neighbors right now as I write this????

==> Basically smart-guards who know their jobs and how to get help.
• In one incident, the robbers tried to trick the guard by telling them someone was injured so that they could come out and check, but the guards didn’t fall for it. In another instance, the guard did.
• Or another time when the robbers asked if the residents of the house were home and the guard answered no and the robbers left, or yet another time when the guard didn’t respond at all and the robbers again left.

The bottom-line of the training was not to try and pull any ‘hero’ tactics and to just as calmly as possible follow directions and give away whatever they ask for. In the afternoon we did two scenarios and it was really interesting to watch my own reactions. While I can’t get into detail about what the scenarios were (just in case people who haven’t gone through them are reading my blog), I will say that even going through a skit where you know what's going to happen, it still gives you a small hint about how confusing, scary, and violating something like getting robbed can make you feel so I really really hope I don’t have to experience the real thing.

Anyway, before I end this post, I would like to comment on two other things. First, while thinking about all this security stuff, I have actually thought about the financial side of things. For example, making what are simple improvements could easily run past $50,000 yet within any organization, the ideal is that you want more to go toward actually helping your target group than toward overhead, especially since donor funds aren’t infinite. Yet every dollar spent of security of staff members to actually do their job means less going toward the woman or child that very project is aiming to help. At the same time, nothing can be done if staff members are insecure. It also gives you a tiny idea of what things are like in places like Iraq and Afghanistan (which I’m actually convinced are more secure than here). While the military and organizations and companies seem to be breezing through gazillions of dollars an hour, can you imagine what it takes for protect the people that are out there?!? One engineer actually told me that for him to go and supervise a site in Afghanistan, he had to move with multiple vehicles plus conveys of armed soldiers, and that when he got out of the car to move around, he had to be surrounded by two armed people deep on each side – just to do his job!

Second, while Juba is not at that level, I will say that so much is being done to approve on security all around this place and especially in my organization. From simple steps like increasing the number of guards at night per compound, to more improvements on compound gates, more information about how to call in case of emergency and attendance at trainings such as I have described above are all small but important steps. It all just give me a whole new perspective on the job and field I actually work in.

The Siege

Before I start, I must warn you that what is the follow is very creepy and you should only proceed with caution!

One of the most annoying, disgusting, creepy creatures the world over is the RAT and two nights ago, one (or more) struck a major blow in my room! Over the last few days, I have been spending the nights in another guesthouse due to the robberies going on and not wanting to be alone in my guesthouse (my two roomies are out of town). Now I generally LOVE being alone in any space, but this time I am forgoing that pleasure in the name of safety. BUT, when I am in my guesthouse, I've devised a whole strategy to keep rats out of my room at night. I put my yoga mat under the gap in the door where they usually enter and secure it with a brick and a heavy book. I came up with this strategy after two nights of being completely grossed-out by the rat scurrying around my room, running over the mat, bumping into things. I swear I could hear it chewing through my possessions. And no matter how many times I banged my feet on the mattress to alert it that a big scary human (that's me) was in the room, it wouldn't take the hint (it could probably tell that I was more afraid of it). So my tactic really works when I'm there and I can calmly slept through the night.

But like I said, I haven't been sleeping in my room for the past few nights so the rat(s) have regained access. Yesterday morning, I walk into my room and on the little on the lower shelf of a bookcase that substitutes as a place to lay my clothes, a rat had chewed through the cloth bag that I keep my dirty undies in and basically had a freaking party chewing through my underwear! It must have been having so much fun that on it's way out of the bag it was actually pulling one of the underwear through the hole it had chewed to get in and when I walked in, I saw the random underwear stuck in the hole. It was ABSOLUTELY the grossest thing ever.

What makes it worse is that underwear doesn't grow on trees in Juba. In the States, I admit to being one of those women who when time was running out, I would very quickly just run to Vickies and pick up 5 new pieces on the $19 special that they always have going on. And it was always fun because they come in such fun colors and prints and cuts! Needless to say, I had a LOT! But that option isn't available here. And while I can deal with the odd shirt or pant with the small rat chewed hole on the bottom edge (i.e. - if you splash juice on your pant in the afternoon and it dries and you forget about it, Mr. RAT will certainly remember on your behalf), clearly it is just too gross to do that with underwear! So when a freaking RAT eats through or even leaves one bit mark on my underwear - it's straight to the trash bin and I just have less to work with. I've tried all kinds of strategies - but basically there is no where this freaking rat doesn't find itself capable of reaching so now I'm in a complete wash and wear situation where everything on my body (especially underwear) needs to be washed immediately after use. Considering how hand-washing (again I was of the 'wash and fold' group in New York - you take the dirty clothes in and pick it up a few hours later everything is cleaned and neatly folded for you) anything isn't a strength of mine, you can only imagine how well this is going to go!

Anyway, I calling for back-up undie support from Nairobi so hopefully it will arrive soon!

A whole new week

HELLO a whole new week! After struggling through a very ridiculous week, I’ve made it to a whole new one. And instead of being a moaner and predicting that this one will be as ridiculously tough as the last one, I’m attempting to break out of character and look on the bright side. Last week was just miserable on so many levels. I just couldn’t handle all the things that were going wrong. I ended the week on a happy note by doing something I rarely do…..I went to the GYM!!!

In addition to having a pool, the U.S. Consulate also has a very nice gym with a huge flat screen blasting CNN. While exercising is the one activity I am consistently inconsistent at, it is always nice to do it once in a while. Yesterday, it took me 15 minutes on the stairmaster and another 15 minutes on the elliptical machine to feel warmed-up enough to continue. After that I was actually able to run on the treadmill for a while and all the happy endorphins finally kicked. A nice swim after that was just the perfect way to cool down. After, I went to a friend’s house and relaxed there watching T.V. which is always strange because I never get to do here. It is amazing how much silly stuff is on, but I’ll admit getting completely sucked into BBC Food station and this lady making stuffed tomatoes and rice pudding. Considering the limited food options here, this station is basically another form of torture. This was nicely followed by going to this place called Home and Away where I had never been before but was purrfect! I could actually keep my eyes opened and forget I was in Sudan! We just hung out in their café, soft music in the background, chatting and eating a quiet dinner. All together it really was the perfect way to end the week.

Destruction

It is very hard to forget that Sudan went through a very long and brutal war. While a lot of work is currently going on to build up the country, remnants of the war lie everywhere. Here are pictures of what I've found just along the various roads I've traveled.

Say 'Cheese'

In my limited experinese here in Sudan, I've realized that smiling just isn't something that Sudanese seem to do naturally (when they aren't children) when someone says 'cheese' and tries to snap away. You usually get a picture of a man or woman who looks borderline homicidal. So it always feels really exciting when you can get a snap of someone smiling. After taking about 10 pictures, and making the worlds dumbest jokes ever, I finally got a picture of this handsome driver smiling. So worth the effort! :)